Okay, I know. Another emo post. It’s a happy holiday season and here I am posting emotional stuff.
Noooo. It’s not about being single, in SMP or anything. It’s about me being independent and doing anything on my own.
Ever since I turned 12 years old, I have lived independently (well it’s more like semi-independent because I’m still relying on my parents financially). I went to CMU in high school which is far from home and my family never really saw me went to puberty, had a girlfriend or asking them advice about high school pressure, peers or love life. I resolved all the life’s pressure and teen problems on my own. I was practically a parent of myself.
I was also comfortable doing anything on my own. I realized this when I already went to college in Cebu.
Cebu was practically a different environment to me. No familiar faces or places around. I was really alone.
I didn’t have that much friends back then. I even ate lunch alone (and it was really sad not having someone eating lunch with you in a crowded place). Even in group activities in class, I was the “reliable” one because I’m the only one doing the researching, assigning tasks, and even answering the questions raised during reporting. I was practically productive doing everything alone, and I was okay with it. I encourage the group to trust me. And I was a perfectionist, so I want to do everything right, and we all benefit from it.
I am okay on my own.
Maybe that’s why I’m aloof when I am in a group. I don’t talk. I just listen to people. I don’t even give comments because I’m afraid I will say the wrong things. People say I’m boring. Well, yes I am. I don’t talk to people that much, and I have never practiced the art of making conversations.
I just listen.
I’m not saying I don’t like socializing, but I kinda adapted the feeling of always being alone rather than with everyone else. I have friends, okay. Lots of them (well, that’s what I thought. 🙂 ). And it’s awesome to be with them. Being alone sucks. No one hears you when you have problems, and no one laughs with you when there’s something funny. Friends are the best. Even they come to the point of scolding and shouting you of your doings and mistakes, at least you’ll know they care for you.
So make a lot of friends. Don’t encourage yourself to be alone because it’s really awful. Be part of something. And altogether, do something great. 🙂